Is She Really Playing Hard To Get Or Is She Just Not Interested?

Sometimes you become interested in a girl and she becomes interested in you, and at a certain point you both know what is happening and you both kind of let it happen, acknowledging it the whole way, not skipping any steps but still moving together towards a relationship until one is formed. Other times, you become interested in a girl and her attitude towards you is much more frustrating, and you don’t know how to move from there. These times you might ask yourself, “Is she playing hard to get, or is she not interested at all?”

Determining the answer to this question can be difficult. On the surface, playing hard to get and truly being disinterested appear very similar, or in some cases, rather identical. In both cases she does not seem to care too much about seeing you or interacting with you, and she forces you to initiate most of your interactions or conversations with her.

There are two ways you can go about finding the answer to your question, “Is she playing hard to get, or not interested at all?” The first is to take the game she is playing and simply stop playing it. This is done by directly telling her your thoughts, feelings, and/or intentions, or being forward with her in asking her on a date, to a dance, etc. This can work well, as it basically forces her to choose between ceasing her games and acknowledging that she likes you, or acknowledging once and for all that she is not interested, thus answering your question.

The one downside to this approach is that she might still be interested, but too stubborn to admit that she was playing such a game, and therefore be unwilling to stop and say yes to your request. In this way there is a slight chance that by forcing her hand you take away an opportunity you might have had to keep playing her game and eventually get her.

The second way to answer your question is by playing the same game and giving her a dose of her own medicine. This is done through very little to no initiation of contact, short answers to texts, and while you should never be rude or dismissive, seeming like you don’t care one way or another whether you would ever date her or not. If she is truly not interested, chances are the two of you will slowly but surely stop contacting each other much, and eventually lose touch almost completely.

However, if she was playing hard to get, she will undoubtedly be miffed by your lack of attention towards her and effort into your relationship with her, and she’ll start to become much more forward in her contact with you. This method is probably the most effective. It’s only main setback is that you might realize one of the main reasons you were interested in this girl was because she was playing hard to get, and once you realize you can have her for sure she suddenly seems less appealing.